How To Tell if You’re a #WineGeek?

As I got ready to sample some wines and chronicle my tasting notes this evening, there were a variety of events–both prior to, during, and since I’m a meticulous planner, those that would follow promptly after– took place that caused me to think “Am I a WineGeek? A through-and-through Nerd-of-All-Things-Wine?” Just to really see if I was whining about nothing, to test my hypothesis, I decided to compile a list of reasons and regular occurrences–the keyword being regular here, folks– and examine the list, after doing so. I mean, really c’mon, it’s gotta be just all in my imagination… totally NOT that bad…

Signs that You May, Truly,  Be a WineGeek

  • You want to have a hot bath, full of bubbles, and so you fill a tub full of hot water and use your favourite in your collection of various unscented bubbly bath products, since you could not possibly have lingering scented body wash as you drink your wine later–it would taint the bouquet in your glass! The same goes for scented body lotion, candles and even floral arrangements
  • You find yourself cringing when you watch a television show where the characters are drinking wine from inappropriate stemware. Don’t even get me started about restaurants that have a ‘one-size-fits-all’ glass
  • The first place you look when purchasing/renting/moving into any style of living accommodation is the kitchen–naturally you need to know that cupboard shelf height will accommodate both stemware and that there are enough drawers to support your collection of cork-stoppers, openers, etc.
  • You have so many uses for old wine-corks, you haven’t been to Home Depot in years
  • Every piece of furniture must pass a vigorous red wine stain resistance test before you even consider bringing it into your proximity.
  • Your refusal to wear anything white in the wintertime has nothing to do with the age old fashion rule that says nothing white after labour day, but everything to do with the fact that your wine consumption is 70% red-based during the winter months, and we simply cannot risk a spill
  • Should you find yourself in a pinch (or more likely someone whom you may be with) you have a Tide-to-Go touch up pen in every jacket/purse/gym bag that you own
  • You love the latest improvements to the camera on your new smartphone–it makes all of the snaps you take of wine bottles, glasses, labels that much sharper and more precise so you can read even the finest of print on that foreign label
  • You don’t ‘picnic’ or camp since its too difficult to match the appropriate glassware to match your choice of wines and then there’s the issue of perfect temperature….
  • You find yourself having dinner conversations that include the phrase “Well, I’d love a big meaty Italian–I mean, you don’t expect me to have that Valpollicella?!” (cue sharp disdain!)
  • You have memorized the wine lists for all of the places you regularly dine out, in all languages
  • Your dinner mates don’t utter a single word when you ask, “so how’s your wine?” until you have given your casual thoughts; and, finally
  • You carry around a laminated copy of both a Wine Pronunciation Guide and a Tasting Comparison Sheet, in case an of an impromptu dinner/drink with others.

Now, if you answered yes to only a few, chances are, that you may have avoided it thus far, but are on your way to becoming a true WineGeek. If, however, you can identify with this list wholeheartedly, and it is not in the least bit a stretch from reality, then congratulations, WineGeeksUnite!

I think we may need to start an annual conference….. Who’s with me here?

Cheers and Happy Sipping!

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One thought on “How To Tell if You’re a #WineGeek?

  1. Love ‘em!! I can clearly see where aWineGal has passed her G test and could swiftly be processed to receive her B.Sc.WG degree!!

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